Are you ready for a fresh start and to make lasting changes this year? What would it look like to reframe resolutions for results? Here are 5 Steps for Results.
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You Crown the Year with Your Goodness & Abundance
Psalm 65:11
Gently falling snow blankets the frozen ground, hot chocolate warms me, a winter scented candle adds fragrance to the atmosphere and lights from the Christmas tree continue to provide a cozy glow to the room as I write. The gifts have been wrapped, given, sent, and unwrapped. Holiday parties and family gatherings with loved ones, along with cherished traditions, which nurture my soul and keep me grounded, have come and gone. In these quiet, contemplative moments, I reflect on the previous year and consider the coming one.
Resolutions have rarely ever worked for me. Have they worked for you? Have you made up your mind at the end of yet another year that you would change something important? Shed those extra pounds? Eat healthier? Get to the gym? Change careers? Find that new job? Learn a new hobby? Spend more time with those you love? Pursue an interest? Save more money? Plan better for the holidays next time? Give up an addiction that’s consumed you? Let go of nagging fears? Be kinder or more patient with yourself and others?
So, with great inner resolve you declare to yourself, and maybe to others, “enough is enough!” and decide on the change(s) you will make! You dive in right after the New Year and do really well for a week or two, maybe three or four. Then life interferes with your resolve, something interrupts your fledgling new routine, demands on your time distract you from your decision. Before long, you find yourself right back in what is comfortable and predictable territory. Unable to fight the current of resistance to new habits, the energy required, distractions and interruptions, you sigh and acquiesce to the familiar. Maybe not what you wanted, but the familiar patterns, routines, and ways of living don’t demand as much energy as change does.
This is why resolutions don’t really work. They actually set us up for frustration, disappointment and undermine our best intentions. By definition, reframe means:
To look at, present, or think of beliefs, ideas, or concepts)in a new or different way:
To change the focus or perspective of a point of view.
To say something in a different way: reframe the question.
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What would it look like to reframe resolutions this year? Here are 5 steps to do just that.
Step 1. Reflect.
Reflect on the previous year and take a personal inventory.
Ask yourself and honestly write or journal your answers: What went well? What didn’t go so well? What did I learn? How did I grow? In what ways did I see God work in my life this year? What difficulty, challenge or loss did God bring me through? What successes can I celebrate? What goals did I accomplish? What goals do I still want to accomplish? Did I step out of my comfort zone? If so, what did that feel like? What did I learn by doing so? Where and when have I allowed fear to determine my decisions? How do I feel about myself as a result? What kind of person do I really want to be? What changes have I made since last year? What changes would I like to make this year? Why do I want to make these changes? Why are these changes important to me? What am I grateful for?
Step 2. Reframe.
What do you want to be – do – and have in the coming year? Ask yourself:
· What is one quality I want to develop more of to be the kind of person I really want to be?
· What is one thing I really want to do to enjoy a greater quality of life?
· What is one thing I really want to have more of in the coming year?
(Hint: This does not have to material. It could be confidence, health, time, meaningful relationships, deeper connections, gratitude, joy, contentment, organization, fun, and so on.)
When we focus on just three areas we want to change or grow in, we are more likely to succeed. Growth becomes possible. Goals become attainable. Change becomes manageable. True and lasting change always starts from the inside. Not the outside. We have to be before we do before we have.
Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you really want. - Margaret Young
Step 3. Re-examine.
Re-examine your motives for what you want to be – do – have.
In other-words, what is your “why” for each of these three areas? Without a clear and meaningful “why” you will not have who, what, when, or where. So, why do you want to be - develop that quality? Why do you want to do that one thing to improve yourself or your life? Why do you want to have more of what it is you want more of? Honestly examine what your motives are as you answer the questions.
Step 4. Realize.
Realize what your life could be like.
Now that you are clear on your “why”, realize how your be-do-have will positively impact your life. Consider what it will feel like to be-do-have what it is you’ve decided on. Close your eyes and visualize what it will look like to be-do-have what you’ve decided on. What will it cost you not to be-do-have what you’ve decided on? How important is it to you to be-do-have what you’ve decided on? Realize that in order to be-do-have something you have not been-done-or had before, you will have to be and do something different to have something different.
Step 5. Results.
In order to experience the results you desire, you will have to commit to your decided upon be-do-have.
Commitment means doing whatever it takes. When someone (including yourself) or something is important enough then you make it a priority. Our decisions and actions reflect our true priorities.
Commitment is not about what’s convenient. It’s about finding a way no matter what.
Commitment is not about what’s easy. The truth is that what is genuinely worth having in life is not easy – it requires effort and extracts energy.
Commitment is not fast or instant. It is about consistency over time. Decide to go the distance.
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As you reflect on your year by taking a personal inventory, reframe what you want within the context of be-do-have, re-examine your motives, realize what your life can be like and commit to the results you want, it is important to recognize that change takes time. Like seeds planted in the ground, give yourself time for them to sprout, take root, grow and produce fruit. Consider what could get in the way, distract you, or derail your efforts, and determine in advance how to deal with those setbacks. Put a plan in place to prioritize your be-do-have, communicate the importance to those you love and live with, and keep the commitment to yourself.
Happy New Year and New You!
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Editor's Note:
This blog is by Freedom to Flourish Life Coaching Founder and Christian Life Coach, Jen Stone-Sexton. She is currently accepting new clients. You can learn more about Jen here.
If you enjoyed this blog, read 5 Goal Setting Steps to Achieve Results next!
Jennifer C. Stone-Sexton © 2023 Freedom to Flourish, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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*Collins English Dictionary. Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © Harper Collins Publishers